Exercise in moderation is a worthwhile pursuit for all and sundry. The medical fraternity is quick to point out the benefits of raising one’s heartbeat through a little self-steam. Thrice weekly will keep you fit and healthy we are told. Elite athletes and even the serious amateur sportsperson, will push past this gentle marker and more often than not flog themselves to death many more times a week. Throughout all this pain, punishment, and achievement humans always seek new forms of motivation, training gimmicks, and in the couch potato case, anything to distract from the physical torture they volunteered to. RunKeeper and similar applications provide such assistance to all: records for the serious candidates, and a mindful of ideas, tips, and hints to throw into the mix. For this, we salute you. However, the one detriment of such services, and one that I fail to understand is the need to advertise one’s efforts across social media. Ran four miles today? Although overjoyed with your dedication, please do forgive me if I manage to keep by emotions in check as I quickly scroll past your latest gloat on my social media threads.
Every cloud has a silver lining for an optimist and I believe I may have found one in my irritation. Step forward, Dog Walker. Revolutionary this is not. Evolutionary maybe, but in all honestly, blatantly stolen. Public appreciation of my abilities could reach new highs. No longer is the peaceful walk of dog and owner something sacred and shared only between owner and pet. Now, the whole world is invited to share in our daily ritual.
Starting point is distance covered. Plain and simple, share the mileage our feet and paws have pounded forth. The mutt only scores half of course because they benefit from four legs compared to the humanoid two ever since our evolution from alleged scampering to full-upright positioning. Second, calorie count. Should this be a combined effort? Do we require individual counts to ensure neither party is cheating? Perhaps our four-legged friend is hitching a ride we are unaware of. Number of toilet breaks is unique. Professional marathon runners might hide their nature’s calls without breaking stride, but the responsible dog owner knows three things. First, you wait whilst the furry friend takes his number one breaks. The fur can become awfully uncomfortable should the aim go awry, and second, mere runners have no territory squabbles to fight over with fresh urine and a keen sense of smell. Finally, leaving a number two behind is simply not cricket. Forget the potential fine from law and order. Dog owners remain a courteous bunch and leaving a turd behind is plain and simple wrong in everyone’s opinion. Social media report for owner’s toilet breaks is usually zero on walks but could be included for completeness. Finally, music preferences. Pooches love the walk and require little encouragement, and owners, we enjoy the fresh air.
Dog Walker should be the application of social media in my humble opinion!